Last week one of my daughters turned 17, in a month the other will turn 16, signalling they are moving yet another step closer to adulthood and a diminishment of my influence over them. They are both passionate, stubborn, wise, moody, loving, creative, silly, funny and wonderful young women who I feel privileged to know and have shared in their upbringing with my husband.

Sometimes I feel like time is running out to help prepare them to face a world full of unlimited wonder and potential frustrations, difficulties and of course dangers. It saddens me that some of those frustrations and dangers will come about purely because they are female. They will have to work harder to advance in their careers compared to male colleagues. They will be judged harsher because they are female; a mistake they make will be a sign that they (and their gender) are unfit for the role, rather than just a learning opportunity. They will be made to feel uncomfortable when they are out in public; being subjects of male gaze, hearing sexist jokes and unwanted innuendo, being mansplained to or having their words or ideas being repeated by a man and thus having credit taken from them. And of course there is the fact that they will also be potential targets of sexual assault.

When I ponder the message I would like to pass on to them these elements of society force me to tell them: Be careful where you walk, how you dress, who you talk to, but also who you ignore, it might kill you. Be careful what you post, it could ruin your life.

The list of restrictions could go on ad infinitum!

However, what I really want to say is:

Be yourself, embrace who you are and who you will become. Be kind but also be strong, stand up for what you believe in, but also listen and be open to learning. Acknowledge when you’ve been wrong and make amends if needed.  You have every right to take up space in this world so don’t let your voice be silenced or shrink yourself to fit another’s expectations. You have the potential to make the world a better place. Always remember that and grow, don’t let the world diminish you or dull your fire.  Be you in all your magnificence and uniqueness.